Day 4: Continued: Depressed

I have been writing a lot today and it's because I keep forgetting things to say.... It hasn't been a very good day. I keep getting chills and I have had stomachaches on and off today, IDK why. I broke my eyeliner pencil and my Skullcandy headphones and I am broke right now after spending all my money on gum, Sillybandz, and a New Moon card game. I feel super depressed today but I am not quite sure why... Usually I am a very happy person.

Maybe it's because I miss my puppy. He died in April, 13 days away from his birthday. It's a long story and I don't feel like telling it...

Maybe it's because I want my hair done so badly. Maybe it's because I lost my bid on a lot of 24 Hot Topic shirts on eBay. Maybe it's because my nose stud hasn't come yet. IDK... Maybe it's because I just feel like being depressed today. I mean, I haven't done anything stupid, crazy, idiotic, or random today. Yeah! I know! Not normal, right??

This is Beau. He was a white German Shepherd/Great Pyrenees mix. Sweetest thing ever and I miss him soo much it hurts. He was my first puppy and I still haven't gotten over it. Maybe it's because he was shot and killed for no reason by someone I trusted. Maybe it's because I loved him and that person knew that. Anyways, I still think about him on a daily basis. I have his collar. An orange ASPCA collar that has best friend written on it in tan cursive. It still smells like him.... I had gotten him birthday presents too. A bulk package of dog biscuits and a squeaky armadillo toy. Eventually, I gave the package of dog biscuits away to his brother Ellwood and I gave the toy to the animal shelter. I still miss him..

Hmmm it feels great to get my feelings out on here. Maybe I'm depressed because my new favorite song is Sorrow by Flyleaf. I discovered it earlier today and I fell in love. Hmm Sorrow. Fitting name for my feelings. I just wanna burst out bawling and I don't want anyone to comfort me. I just wanna cry for no reason. Do you ever have days like that?

Maybe it's because I hit a writer's block on my book. I'm not sure....

I have a cold sore in my mouth from eating sunflower seeds and every time I open or close my mouth, my teeth graze it and it hurts even worse. That's why my mouth has been closed for the last hour or so...

I feel like listening to Paramore.
I feel like dancing like an idiot.

But I won't. Too tired....

Paramore is great. Haley Williams is pretty cool and I have a picture of her wearing yellow skinnys, just like mine so I was happy with that. Hmmmm I like Nickasaur! too. He's hot and he's a good singer.

I have written a couple of songs for my band. My favorite is called Scarlet Tears and Ebony Scars. It's pretty good. I'll try to post it later....
I'm just too lazy right now.

I have a new favorite band. Electric Valentine. I started listening to Space Cowboy today and I fell in love. On the iTunes Store, it showed recommended and Electric Valentine was on there so I previewed some of their songs and then I wound up buying their whole album (Friends With Benefits). And I like it. I gained a new favorite artist today too, and that's Space Cowboy. I've known about him from some of Lady Gaga's songs and I got a mixture of bored and curious and now I love him. He's kinda creeper, tho.

Anyways, I think I'm gonna go now. Sleep time. Night night.